Lonely Goodbye

I can't help but think "She'll find someone else", but not in a mature "We need to move on" more of a "How do I kill every guy in Denton and make it look like a accident" I feel helpless....I genuinely love her, I was listening to Carolina by Parmalee the other day when I was driving and I just broke down....there is only one other girl I've done that for.....Logically I know why she ended it. She is very...in tune with her emotions lol not that I minded. But anyways shes the kind of girl that needs her man by her side....I guess I get that.....and if I push through the little, self centered, jealous,10year old inside of me screaming, I do want her to be happy. I just wish that she could have been happy with me. She says distance is what did it, but I know the truth, it was me. I asked her out, I fell in love with someone I couldn't have, someone I knew I couldn't have, and the worst part is is that I let her fall in love with me. Now what do I have to show for it? Gah someone is going to come along, take notice of her exterior beauty and care for her half as much as I did and the only difference is he's going to be there.....she deserves so much better and I want so badly to give it to her. I know you can't be expected to wait for me, I just.....idk. I love you, miss you, want to give you the world, care about you, love to make you happy, wanted to be your husband even....Goodbye Belle, don't mistake my calm demeanor for apathy because I assure you there is a heart crying out even as you read this. I wish you the best and I hope and pray you'll be in my arms again one day. :*

Your Cowboy,

Rustin