Progress

I don't think about her near as much as I used to. All the songs that would rip me to pieces are finally becoming just songs again. Even the thought of her fading away dosen't have that same punch to it any more. I'm not happy about of this  mind you, I'm just content that my life is finally moving on. Lol so I can go fuck up the next chapter! Hope not tho, I have new people in my life now that are really cool and to be honest I'm not sure whats going to become of any of them. All I can really do is take it one day at a time and see whats going to become of it. It didn't really cross my mind to take it one day at a time with her, it was more of a"this is forever". I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever really get that close to someone again....I want to, but I just keep thinking about how it felt so amazing in the beginning with her and look how it ended up. Of course I then read back over all that I've written and think how unreasonable I sound. "Know what forever will bring?" fat chance. This love bull shit is just scary as fuck. I was just too damn young before, with her. I'm usually a chill devil may care guy, mostly not giving a shit about stuff, but when I have to put my whole heart in someone and hope they don't just throw it away.....I just lock up. Before I thought about how if she came back to me and asked me to take her back I'd have to say yes, but now when I ask myself the same question...idk I'd have to say no. Another thing is .....I'm not very picky. I get along with pretty much anyone I can talk to, ie. anyone who speaks english, and thinking about all the girls I've ever been with...I probably could have put a ring on any of them and would have been just fine. I'm of course speaking generally that 97% of the time I got along with them. Taking all this into consideration I sometimes wonder how will I know when I've found the one. Actually thinking back I recall one of my girlfriends say that I'd treat anyone I was with this good, and you know what, I think she was right. I'm sure that question lumes on everyones mind tho and that I'm more or less just wining like a little bitch lol. Ugh I need to get back to studying sooooo yall chew on that for a while.