Hours at a time

So I have this job where I go out to weddings, or any other party where they'd like a photo booth, and set up said photo booth and take peoples photos. Anyways last weekend right before I went off to do another gig Rob, my boss, came up to me and handed me a box full of scrap book junk. He told me that we were "offering them a scrapbook" and that "you don't have to make it" and he preceded to tell me that all I'd have to do is cut up a few pieces of paper and let the people write a little something to the bride and groom and to take a copy of there pic if they do. "Alright" I thought that didn't seem too bad, so I drive out to the place and get all set up, which took longer than expected and I didn't get to go get a red bull or anything. Did I mention I was tired? I can't remember why I was tired but I was...anyways I get there and get all set up in like the littlest space for the booth ever which was pretty much in peoples way. I start taking pictures and the first one or two was kind of fuzzy so I adjusted it a little and about the time I did that the bride comes up to me and asks about the scrap book. I told her that yes when the people write something that I'd take there pictures and keep them with the note, just like Rob told me to. I've never before encountered a bridezilla I honestly thought it was just people putting on.....I was wrong. She preceded to start in on me about how she told whoever that she wanted all this shit Gah...Sooo yeah apparently two people were supposed to be at this event and one was supposed to be taking a copy of the photos and putting them in a scrap book with black pages and then having the guests write a note with a silver sharpie next to there photo.....I didn't have a second person, I didn't have a silver sharpie, and I had no way of affixing the photos to the page...I didn't even have gum lol So right after that I was like....SHIT! lol and was trying to figure out what I should do and I couldn't call Rob because I had no signal in that dance hall and I didn't want to step out because the guests were come'n in sooo yeah right when I was wondering how fast I'd die if I just hung myself, some lady walked up and said that she would help me lol yeah right and that every guest needed to write a note......lol as I looked at my pile of 5 or 6 pieces of paper I managed to cut out. So I thin grabbed up the pair of scissors and went to town....just as the huge line of people started at the photo booth and the random lady was no where to be seen. sooo I was feverishly cutting and running down people who just decided that after they took there pic that they'd just leave even tho everyone else had been walking away holding and talking about there picture. The random lady finally came back and helped me for like 20 minutes and in those 20 minutes I looked at the screen and saw on the photo booth program that the pics were coming out alright. Then the bride came back and asked me again about the first 4 our so pictures that I gave both copies away that they needed a copy in the photo booth and again I reassured her that at the end of the night that I'd print more out or when the line died down I would, because even tho it got shorter there was still a steady stream of people come'n. Then, I can't really remember when it happened, I accidentally printed out two copies of one of the brides maids photos and I randomly gathered up all the test shots and other junk on the booth so I could keep everything organized and straight and I just threw all of it away because yeah I could go back and print more. Well that brides maid saw her pic in the trash can and got it and asked me why it was in the trash can, and when I told her why she still seemed hurt Gah. So anyways the night was coming to an end for me and I thought to myself that hey you know we kind of fucked up tonight so hey I'll stay another hour and I figured I'd throw in another pack of pages for the scrap book. So I did all that and finally packed up and went home, then yesterday before my last event Rob called me up and said that none of my pics came out at that wedding and that they were all crap and that the bride wanted a refund. Apparently the photo booth program auto adjusts the pic for printing and viewing but it does nothing to the original picture saved on the computer, So even tho it will print out sharp and look sharp on the program if you don't know its fucked up then well... you're fucked. Seeing that I was doing the job of two people and getting hounded by dumb asses most of the night I didn't even think to re re check the focus after I adjusted it once already. Then Rob told me that I needed to be sending him a pic of the original photos I was taking every hour on the hour for this next event....lol yeah that happened once and I got busy and I was just like fuck it. Rob did swing by around 11 checked the photos and told me I was doing good and wrote me a check, In his defense he is a business major and when hes got 5 events going on in one night he kind of goes into business major mode, but normally hes a pretty chill guy. On the plus side I got to talk to this really cute girl named Whitney most of the night at the wedding, didn't exchange numbers but it was a nice relief from all the rest of that night. Speaking of girls lol I haven't heard from Jasmine in forever, I'm going to assume caught or killed =P O another thing, I just came across this new country artist. His name is Jamey Johnson and hes pretty dang good soooo you should go check out the vid I posted

Long lost

So here I am blogging. I'm not sure how long this will be but I'll try to make it as long as possible without rambling too much. Well spring break is over for us Roadrunners and it's back to the grind yet again. To day started off kind of shitty. I woke up feeling depressed, not even a quick trip to the gym could shake this feeling, later tho I found out that I had passed my second test in Physic 2 and even tho it didn't fix the feeling it helped. Even tho I felt depressed today I have an over all feeling of determination to see this semester out and try to finish strong. This being said I really really really need to start on my online class lol. I've still been talking to Jasmine, even tho shes so far away I still feel closer to her than a good chunk of people here. Even tho that makes little to no sense, because for one I've never physically met this girl, Its not that we don't talk we do but idk we hardly talk about ........ important stuff. I'd like to see what makes her tick more Gah idk. Every once in a while I take a step back and think about just what I'm doing lol chasing after a girl way too far away from me, that I honestly barely know. Despite knowing these things....idk it just feels right. Every once in a while a girl will flirt with me and I'll think to myself "There's no way you could be better than Jasmine....". It gets so bad sometimes that I'll be kind of watching my phone to see if shes texted me. Ugh whats wrong with me....I'm sure shes going to read this and think I'm a freak or something, and to that I'm sorry. I'm just a stupid love struck cowboy......looking for my next heartbreak I guess. Idk if you'd call this progress, me thinking about another girl, because every once in a while I'll sit and think about my last one, and the one before. I'll wonder about what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. I'll sit and think about what I'll probably do to fuck up the next relationship, or what I won't do. What was it about me that didn't let the other ones work? Am I just not worth the distance?? And if thats the fact am I worth it at all. Gah thinking about this shit now....idk If I'd ever want to date Jasmine. What if I completely luck out and do actually get to date her and then I lose her?? That would fucking suck because so far I think shes pretty fucking cool. Omg I actually had a dream the other day about going to see her. I had a Kawasaki I was on and I road up wearing my cowboy boots. She had a good laugh at how the cowboy came riding up on his steed and then we road around and shes was telling me about different things in town, even tho in my mind it was san antonio because I've never been to New York and it was just a random girl because yet again I've never actually physically interacted with her. Anywhoozle we just road around for a while and then I woke up. Maybe that'll really happen one day, I sure as hell wouldn't mind a road trip on a bike. O I got a Kel Tec PF9 9mm hand gun the other day =] I'm pretty psyched about that because its my first handgun I've ever owned. The only downside is that 9mm ammo is really hard to come by now'uh days, but I just heard that the assault ban bill thingy just got pushed back so maybe the politicians will lay off it for a while, and maybe things will be able to go back to normal just long enough for me to get my hands on some ammo so I can get good with my new gun =] Huh other than that......idk thats about it, I picked up a new polo the other day that I want to use for work because its UTSA orange and its really comfy.....O I fixed a computer today.....just had to update drivers so not too hard lol other than that it was a Sony Vaio and it needed a shit ton of drivers cuz it be fancy. Welp I can't really go on unless I start rambling so guess I'll say good night to yall!

everything?

I want to love someone and I want to be loved back lol gah..... I just feel so lonely sometimes...and yes I know this has got to be a stupid excuse to find someone else, but I miss caring about someone. I want to shed a tear when we're apart and I want it to hurt when I have to leave. When we're together I want to feel ready to die like everything is perfect and if my life ended then I'd be ok with it. I remember feeling like that once. I want to surprise someone with breakfast in the morning and take them dancing on the weekends. I want to leave them sticky notes in the bath room saying I love them. I want to work on there car and cut the grass and make them happy. I want to cook for them. I don't want someone to take care of....I want to take care of someone I love. I want to just hold them and snuggle next to them for hours. I want to roll over in the morning and tell them good morning and that they're beautiful and even tho they just woke up and don't believe me I would mean it with every fiber of my being. I want to randomly kiss them when were out and about and make them smile. I want to make someone feel pretty. I want to walk up behind them when there doing something wrap my arms around them, kiss them just below there ear on there neck, and tell them I love them. I want to go on long trips and sing with them in the car. I want to want to give my very life for them if I was called to do so. I want to laugh with them in the good times and I want to be by there side through the bad....Who ever she is...who ever you are....I want to love you I want you to be my everything and I'd hope I'd be your everything too. I know this is really random I was just typing what I was feeling.

Start being about it

this one is short and sweet because I'm about to head to class, but I can't stop thinking about what my friend told me the other day...."You'll just have to work harder or keep looking" today is a brand new day......time to work harder....maybe one day my dreams will come true.

This way

I don't know if its because I was on the run all day today, or the fact that I have the sad song list on repeat on spotify, or that I have two test this Thursday that I'm probably not ready for, or if the fact that I'm dog tired, but I feel like shit emotionally. I want to find someone else to love....but I don't want to love them because I want someone to love, I want to actually love them. I just feel so alone and I hate it. All the girls that are my friend feel like a potential new girlfriend....and to be honest if they wanted to date me I'd be hard pressed to tell them no....is that bad? So yeah right now I sound and feel like one big fucking pussy. "O no I want to love again, but I don't want to love just anyone" Gah but yall can just get fucking over it. I know I should be concentrating on school and doing well in my classes, but its kind of hard when this big ass cloud is always looming over me. Every quite moment my mind gets it drifts back to past loves and how they seem so perfect at the time but then fell apart......were they not meant to be or is it just me? I mean most all the girls I've dated weren't bad. They were all pretty neat people and I'd be lying if I said I didn't picture myself with them for a life time at some point in our respective relationships. I'm not sure what you call it... Loyalty maybe? if that...idk but when you get Rustin to love you its like buying a craftsman wrench, it comes with a lifetime warranty. Now I'm not saying I'd just roll over for you or be your fuck buddy, but you'll always hold a piece of my heart, and if called upon I'd try to help with what ever I could. That went doubly for them when we were together....I'd still lay down my life for each of them if I needed to.....do they realize that? I know  your thinking I'm just a stupid overly nice guy and you're right and I hate it. Some times I wish I could just make it stop, I wish I could just use girls up and then toss them to the side and find a new one like they were nothing... I want someone else but I don't want to open my whole life up to someone who won't give a damn about what they get. I might just hold off on a girl till I get out of school and just wait till I know where my life is headed....and in doing so if I miss out on the one so be it. From experience I'd rather know and be friends with an awesome person than fall deeply in love with one and then ultimately loose them. God saying that brings back so many memories.....memories I wish I could get rid of because what the hell are they good for now? To torture me? to make me colder and more bitter? because as time passes I fear that is what the're doing. I know I'm not perfect, I know I've done this to people.....let them fall in love with me and then crush them and I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry for everything I did to you. I'm not sure if there's a pain that is more deep, or more immobilizing than the pain you get from someone you love, love more than anything else in the world, telling you that they don't love you back. Emotionally that's got to be a unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, and to all my nerd friends yes yes yes they can't exist in the same universe bla bla bla physics bla lol. Anyways yeah.....I just don't know anymore....just...colder as the days go by I guess.

No no no!!!!

Drunk as hell ....... shouldn't be blogging!! Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!