Long lost

So here I am blogging. I'm not sure how long this will be but I'll try to make it as long as possible without rambling too much. Well spring break is over for us Roadrunners and it's back to the grind yet again. To day started off kind of shitty. I woke up feeling depressed, not even a quick trip to the gym could shake this feeling, later tho I found out that I had passed my second test in Physic 2 and even tho it didn't fix the feeling it helped. Even tho I felt depressed today I have an over all feeling of determination to see this semester out and try to finish strong. This being said I really really really need to start on my online class lol. I've still been talking to Jasmine, even tho shes so far away I still feel closer to her than a good chunk of people here. Even tho that makes little to no sense, because for one I've never physically met this girl, Its not that we don't talk we do but idk we hardly talk about ........ important stuff. I'd like to see what makes her tick more Gah idk. Every once in a while I take a step back and think about just what I'm doing lol chasing after a girl way too far away from me, that I honestly barely know. Despite knowing these things....idk it just feels right. Every once in a while a girl will flirt with me and I'll think to myself "There's no way you could be better than Jasmine....". It gets so bad sometimes that I'll be kind of watching my phone to see if shes texted me. Ugh whats wrong with me....I'm sure shes going to read this and think I'm a freak or something, and to that I'm sorry. I'm just a stupid love struck cowboy......looking for my next heartbreak I guess. Idk if you'd call this progress, me thinking about another girl, because every once in a while I'll sit and think about my last one, and the one before. I'll wonder about what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. I'll sit and think about what I'll probably do to fuck up the next relationship, or what I won't do. What was it about me that didn't let the other ones work? Am I just not worth the distance?? And if thats the fact am I worth it at all. Gah thinking about this shit now....idk If I'd ever want to date Jasmine. What if I completely luck out and do actually get to date her and then I lose her?? That would fucking suck because so far I think shes pretty fucking cool. Omg I actually had a dream the other day about going to see her. I had a Kawasaki I was on and I road up wearing my cowboy boots. She had a good laugh at how the cowboy came riding up on his steed and then we road around and shes was telling me about different things in town, even tho in my mind it was san antonio because I've never been to New York and it was just a random girl because yet again I've never actually physically interacted with her. Anywhoozle we just road around for a while and then I woke up. Maybe that'll really happen one day, I sure as hell wouldn't mind a road trip on a bike. O I got a Kel Tec PF9 9mm hand gun the other day =] I'm pretty psyched about that because its my first handgun I've ever owned. The only downside is that 9mm ammo is really hard to come by now'uh days, but I just heard that the assault ban bill thingy just got pushed back so maybe the politicians will lay off it for a while, and maybe things will be able to go back to normal just long enough for me to get my hands on some ammo so I can get good with my new gun =] Huh other than that......idk thats about it, I picked up a new polo the other day that I want to use for work because its UTSA orange and its really comfy.....O I fixed a computer today.....just had to update drivers so not too hard lol other than that it was a Sony Vaio and it needed a shit ton of drivers cuz it be fancy. Welp I can't really go on unless I start rambling so guess I'll say good night to yall!